When you don’t feel “enough”

It’s 9:30 AM on a Sunday morning. In the past few hours, breakfast has been made (well, pop tart wrappers have been opened, ha!), clothes have been picked out, arguments have been had about said clothes, teeth have been brushed, chaos has ensued, and it’s finally my turn to get myself dressed in the few minutes I have left before church. I.am.already.exhausted.

Glaring back at me from my full length mirror, I whisper to myself, “Ugh!” How have I let myself get this way? How many candy bars have I eaten to build up to this point, where 30 pounds have happily wrapped themselves around my waist? There are rolls in places I’ve never had them, and nothing seems to fit right anymore. Wait a second, is that another gray hair? I thought I plucked that out yesterday? I guess the old wives tale is true, and three more have grown back already. Oh my goodness, look at the wrinkles and dark circles around my eyes. I look sooooo tired right now. Oh well, this is as good as it gets! Time to slap on some concealer, do an aerobic exercise to squeeze into Spanks, throw on whatever dress looks the least wrinkled, and head to church.

Fast forward an hour. All of a sudden, I’m at church in the middle of a crowd of 150+ people. Everyone is standing and singing. I wonder if anyone behind me can tell I’m wearing Spanks? I wonder if they noticed that my daughter just spilled 8 million goldfish on the floor again, right at the feet of first-time visitors? I wonder if they can hear my boys pretending to sing in Spanish and giggling? Where is my husband, and why can’t he be still? He’s supposed to be helping me with these children of his. And while I’m suppose to be joyful because it’s the Lord’s Day, I start looking around and catch myself in the same mental cycle, again. Gosh, to be able to sing, like her; to wear a size 6, like her; to have a magnetic personality, like her; to make motherhood look effortless, like her; to always look put together with the most stylish clothes, like her; to be good at seemingly everything, like her. And then I take a look at myself, and buy the same, stupid lie, “you’re not enough,” again.

I can’t tell you how many days, not just Sundays, that eventually unravel this same internal struggle, this mentally exhausting battle with my mind. I’m not writing this to gain pity or to throw myself a little pity party, although I’m pretty good at that sometimes. I’m sharing this because I feel like I’m probably in good company, but it’s not talked about enough. It’s definitely not talked about enough among Christians; we’re too good at wearing masks instead of being transparent. Those middle-school insecurities we used to have of having a mouth full of jacked-up teeth covered in metal braces haven’t really gone away. They’ve just grown up and put on a new outfit. This time, the outfit is clothed in adult problems but still sends the same message, “you’re not enough.”

And if I’m completely honest, that lie is the root of a lot problems for me, and probably for you, too. The enemy is soooo slick and so cunning. He can dress that little white lie up to make it so convincing, and I take the bait almost every time. Why haven’t I learned to pick up on his tactics? Why do I fall for his tricks time after time?

The answer is simple, and yet we miss it. Here it is…We simply don’t know the Word of God well enough, or either we don’t take God at His word.

Think about it. The very first attack of the enemy with Adam and Eve began with the words, “Did God really say…?” He made Eve doubt what God said. And while Satan is deceitful, his strategy hasn’t changed one bit–he still makes us doubt that what God says is true, not just about Him, but about us, too.

Well, my friend, today is your lucky day. If you haven’t picked up your Bible in a while, here are a few things that God’s Word says about us:

Psalms 139:14, God says, “we are fearfully and wonderfully made.” If God said it, then it’s true, and I have to choose to believe it.

Ephesians 2:9-10, God says “we are God’s workmanship, created to do good works.” If God said it, then it’s true, and I have to choose to believe it.

John 1:12, God says “we are children of God.” In the words of my mother, “God doesn’t have ugly children.” He said it—it’s true. You guessed it…it’s my choice and your choice to believe it.

1 Peter 2:9, God says, “we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s treasured possession.” God said it, it’s true, and I believe it.

I could list more, but you get the picture already just from a few verses. There are so many more! God has specifically stated these things about me, about you, in His word. Why then, don’t we believe it instead of the enemy who lies about who we are?

Here’s the truth. I’m really not enough on my own, but because of what the Lord has done for me, He says I am. And I choose to believe it. When I take my eyes off Jesus, His goodness, and what He has done for me, this is when the enemy’s voice becomes louder. This is when my eyes focus in on what others have that I don’t. This is when their strengths look so much more significant than mine. I have to refocus my eyes on Jesus and keep them there. I have to stay in His Word and choose to believe it.

I have to.

And when I do, He not only reminds me of the truth of His word, but He also corrects many other lies I’ve believed.

My dress size and body shape? My husband still thinks I’m the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. He tells me every day. That’s all that matters.

My motherhood ability? Even on my worst days, my kids still tell me “Mama, you’re the best!”

My gifts and talents? God gave them to me, and that means they’re just as important and good as any other. He will use them in a way that He deems important.

My personality? Well, if we were all the same, the world would be boring! God knew my quiet, reserved nature is exactly what I needed to carry out His plan for me. Maybe not the plan for the next girl, but for me.

Friend, believe me– believe the God who made you–you ARE enough. And I pray the next time the enemy comes along to whisper lies in your ear, you will remind him what God’s word says. I pray you fix your eyes on Jesus, and keep them there.

You’re enough. God said it. Believe it.

Amy

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